DVD Review // Church Swine (2025)
I got this movie on DVD because at one point I had found all these movies on the Janice.Click Big Cartel that I hadn't seen before, but this was the only format available. "Church Swine" is currently sold out but has been available in both Blu-Ray and VHS as well, so if I ever see it back up there on VHS I'll likely pick it up in that format as well. (Full Disclosure: I have created a list of all the Janice.Click films I can find and what formats I have them in)
"Church Swine" is the type of film I wish I could have seen growing up but I was watching Psalty and Gerbert. Though this does make me wonder if anyone ever has (or what the legalities might be of doing so) found a puppet from an old Christian television series and made a film where they became evil and had to die. If I ever found a Gerbet puppet at a thrift store for a decent price I just might set it on fire to get over some childhood trauma but who knows.
After watching "Church Swine" I wondered why there weren't more films about churches. And I don't mean in the way that you would watch in Sunday School, but I feel like if you grew up having to go to church and in your adult years when you can think for yourself you no longer go to church, there just aren't a lot of films about that. I think of that one comedy "Saved!" and of course "Dogma", but why isn't there at least once a year some film where a guy goes around avenging the children the church sexually abused.
The brilliance of "Church Swine" is that you can spend time watching horror films where you can have these unsavory characters- just the type of people that you don't want to encounter in public- and then whatever the gimmick of the film is, a Bigfoot for example, comes in and just kills them all. This has become the standard for quite some time, but with "Church Swine" the characters who are the undesirables are also the characters who are going around trying to get you to join their church.
If you are also of the belief that churches should start paying taxes and then we should deep dive into what's going on with them after that, then you will love "Church Swine". I saw this interview with Andre Benjamin when the movie "Be Cool" came out and he said that his character was always eating because he wanted them to have a trait that people remembered (which worked on me). In this film I specifically love Warthog because he just grunts and in that way he stands out and makes for a memorable character in a memorable film.
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